Recently I wrote about my journey after losing my husband and how God was speaking to me about going on each day. I felt that I should not just keep going in the moment just to survive but rather to keep going by being fully embraced and present in all that I do. Well, the past few weeks I have found myself reflecting on those words and what they really mean. I have found them very challenging and trying to be ‘fully present’ in everything I do has proved rather tough.
I have found myself struggling to keep going when all I feel like doing is staying in bed, or when my mind has a rollercoaster of thoughts that I sometimes think to myself ‘are you crazy…?’ I get so lost in my thoughts that time goes on and I look back on my day and realise I have accomplished nothing. The weight of circumstances of others and the world weighs heavy somedays and in turn the mommy guilt of not being fully present kicks in. I have been frustrated in myself and hence been challenging myself on how I can make some practical changes that don’t feel so overwhelming to do so that I can be more focused and more present in my everyday tasks.
The first one I have found is that you need to speak up. Speak up to a close family member or friend and share what is going on in your heart and mind. I have realised that the more I keep quiet the easier it is to spiral backwards and the easier it is to entertain the thoughts in my head. Talking to a friend can help you process, or it can give you a different perspective. Sometimes just catching up with a friend and scheduling a coffee date can help you focus on something different and give you some time out. Remember to surround yourself with friends and family that add fuel to your life, that fill you up so that you can keep going and not friends that add fuel to your fire of depression, anger or negativity.
Secondly, prioritize what is important and valuable in your life and cut out some of the rest, even if it is only for a couple of weeks or a season until you can get your peace back. This includes scheduling and sometimes being very intentional about your sleep, making sure you get enough rest and that your eating habits are balanced. Time and time again when I feel down, I can look at my diet and understand why I feel the way I do. The food I consume is vital and important to keep my energy levels up and my mind and body healthy. It is incredible when I make some small dietary changes I feel so much better physically and mentally.
I have found that something simple, like choosing to smile even if my emotions don’t feel like it, can really lift my spirits. I have also found that choosing to frown, generally puts me in a mood, even if I am not in one. I was challenged this week to identify what my resting face looks like, as this can link to how I perceive and respond to situations and people. A simple smile changes the atmosphere and view.
Most importantly, seek God. This doesn’t mean hours of worship or prayer. It does not even have to consist of either, but rather coming before God in a quiet place and listening for His voice or sharing your thoughts with Him or even just crying with Him. God wants to be in every detail of your life, He wants to know your heart! The more time we spend with Him, the more aware we are of His voice and His presence and the more we feel His peace. A peace that surpasses all understanding.
“And the peace that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4 verse 6
I leave you with this, keep fighting for your peace. You are worth it and you are a beautiful treasure in God’s Kingdom! Have grace on yourself and be kind to yourself. Life is a journey and the season you are facing is temporary and unique. It won’t last forever, but the small changes you can make during difficult seasons can be the difference to what get’s you through the season quicker or what keeps you in that season for longer than you need to be. Although our journey’s look different, we are all on one and it’s so much better doing life in community than alone!
